We stopped dating, for reasons that were unrelated to their friendship. If you're wondering, "Should your boyfriend be friends with his ex?" Sandra Atencio is a relationship counsellor who has been in the profession for over 10 years. reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2009): A And that can jeopardize trust. In fact, the only wrong thing for your boyfriend or girlfriend to do is not try to mend fences with their ex if they feel like it can help their current relationship. Also, I pointed out his tendency to keep his relations with her private. Your ex-girlfriend wasnt to meet you for lunch on Friday. I was very tired and just went up to bed. Own up queen, you got this. My partner is comfortable because not only can he see that were just buds with his own eyes, but because I've made it clear with both words and actions. I consulted them myself when I was having a hard time keeping my relationship together. Some restrictions are fine, of course. That said, so do trust issues. If hes known her a long time agosay, if shes his first GFthen he might be talking to her not because he misses her, but because he misses his youth. Constant contact is a way to keep themselves top of mind and to keep your partner loyal to them in some way. I made no comment at that time, I think it is unacceptable for him to be meeting her, texting and talking with her when he is four months into a new relationship. If you have a sex, dating, or relationship question, email Sophia at BustleSexAdvice@gmail.com. It means that hes a genuinely good and trustworthy person and that you should treasure him. Paul Brian Its easy to see why. "In healthy relationships, this should not be a problem.". Dont be threatened. he probably acts very similarly with both but you just notice his interactions with her more because of their past. Theyre skilled and know exactly what theyre talking about. We hadnt been private about these things in the past at all. But if you still have a suspicion there might be some lingering feelings, ask yourself the following questions to help you decide if your SO is just friends with their ex, or if it's time to worry. I think you are particularly sensitive to your own needs and feelings and somewhat clueless about the needs and feelings of your boyfriend. We and our partners share information on your use of this website to help improve your experience. And if hes with you now, trust that theres a reason hes with you, too. I personally know some people who would keep spending time with each other over shared interests, even if they have partners. Why dont you ever get invited along? If his interactions with his ex have been benign up until this point? My point is that you might be surprised how lovely it feels to put down the negative feelings about his relationship with her. My boyfriend is still in love with his ex, My boyfriend has a crush on his therapist. This is a good thing! best friend, broke up, ex girlfriend, his ex. Once in the past, he had received a text from her and he turned over the phone so I wouldnt notice. If you don't, then there's no need to encourage them by saying so. Machine Gun Kelly has leeches crawl on his stomach: My best friends Machine Gun Kelly touches up Megan Foxs manicure with nail polish collab Machine Be the first to know what's trending, straight from Elite Daily, Who Is Naomi Osakas Boyfriend? reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007): A A womans fear of being hurt is one of the main reasons why men disappear. 5) Youll make him feel that he cant be himself around you, which is the highest compliment a man can give to a woman. So how do you feel about this person becoming a part of your circle? Pick up your phone and text him tactfully to incite interesting conversations. As time passes with your rekindled friendship, try to be naughty with him as you know how to seduce your ex-boyfriend in public. Use common friends to send feelers out to your ex bae that youre still interested. More items I dont know if theyre related. Trust is the foundation of any relationship, Emily, and if you dont have it, you dont really have anything. In other words, your ex boyfriend may have sent his friend on a mission to recover something of his that you have possession of. Many men are dominant until their women break them down over long periods of time. If you prefer to get guidance for your specific problem, having a relationship coach is the way to go. He had gone outside to speak privately, and I had a hunch it was something untoward. If he actually gave your feelings a second thought, it would be easy to see how being close with an ex would make most people uncomfortable. It can be hard to admit, but sometimes the problem lies in you. Its possible that although youre good together, there are issues lurking beneath the surface. However, they are way too close. How Do You Feel About Their Ex? But if they went to college together, have a whole history, and hope to one day go back to being pals, that makes a bit more sense. Last Updated January 9, 2023, 10:36 am. All of this information makes me feel very uncomfortable! If you havent heard of Relationship Hero before, its a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations. If you dont trust him because youre insecure about his friendship with his ex, youre only going to accomplish the following: 1) Youll make him feel like crap because his own girlfriend doesnt trust him. Hack Spirit. So while it might be a little scary or embarrassing to admit that youve been feeling uneasy or even jealous over what hes doing talk to him. Shes had us over for dinner multiple times. WebAnswer (1 of 2): When I 1st started dating my husband at 17 it was like this. You said well, if he was single he would. But now he's with you. He is with you. I think you absolutely should feel the way you do about their relationship. Its weird. Keep your evidence (if you have any) close at hand and instead try to understand him before you actually give your accusations. You might simply have insecurities or an attachment style thats keeping you like this. Why do some people stay in our lives longer than others? The text was from his ex-girlfriend arranging to meet him for lunch on Friday. Why does anyone feel like a safe person to spill your guts to? But it's really common. Im not saying thats easy to accept. Don't have an account? I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was. Hes only trying to figure out who he is. You can see how this popup was set up in our step-by-step guide: https://wppopupmaker.com/guides/auto-opening-announcement-popups/. I would also add that he loves the fact he has two girls fighting for him. Theres a surprisingly large number of people who think this way. You need to work together. reader, Brog+, writes (6 May 2009): A It might be hard, but your best option is really to put your trust in him. Eventually, I let my insecurities get the best of me. We have already broken up because I felt like I couldn't deal with this situation.He tells me that they are just friends, but he has given me no reason to believe it. If your relationship ended due to infidelity, abuse, jealousy or trust issues, remaining friends is almost impossible. While it may not feel good to have your boyfriend keep his distance when you had a horrible cold, you have to admit, its pretty practical, isnt it? "If they can create this new dynamic, it is perfectly OK for them to be friends.". You have a right to speak up if you feel uncomfortable, left out, or worried that something might happen behind your back. Read this to fix the errors youre inadvertently making so you can finally meet your Mr. And theres nothing weird about this at all. In many cases, exclusive hangouts really do lead to more, especially if your partner has a history of cheating," Rappaport says. View related questions: Everyone is entitled to their own emotions. You do not need to act on every single emotion or negative feeling you have, but that doesnt mean you need to bury them either. Once your partner removes themselves from the situation, they will have an easier time accepting that the friendship is just another way for their ex to maintain control. Although they broke up a year ago, they were intimate right before he and I got together which was four months ago. How insecure would I have to be to think that my wifes act of self-preservation was somehow an insult to me? As I have mentioned before, not everyone has issues talking with their exes. However, Im going to have to agree with science on this one. by You can still talk all the time, hang out, go see a movie just without all the feelings, right? So lets get this straight: Your boyfriend has only lost interest if he shows no affection when youre both healthy, not when youre both sick. Late night phone calls, asking for help/favors, texting 24/7 these are all signs your partners ex wants them back. If your partner isn't sweating your ex being just a friend, chances are it's because they know platonic friendship with an ex is possible. Because without that, things will get messy. Is it an opportunity for closure? My boyfriend of 6 months is best friends with his ex. January 15, 2023, 2:41 pm, by Either he stops all contact with her of stops with me. You can acknowledge them. Even then, I'd keep my opinions to myself. If your boyfriend is friends with his ex on Facebook, and youre not okay with it, talk to him about it. It sucks to be one of the friends who finally gets a call seven months into your buddys relationship seeing if youre free, but it can also hurt for the people in the relationship to be jostled around, repositioned in a more healthy and sustainable place: still the bullseye, but not the whole damn dartboard. They talk on the phone 2-3 times a week, meet up for If you have a strong feeling that this is the case, I suggest you talk to a professional relationship coach from Relationship Hero. You want to run the show on every topic, and the mass media supports this notion. Do you hate that shes talking to him at all and want him to stop completely? By the way, I do trust my boyfriend, but I find it almost an insult to me, or to our relationship, that he would still be in touch with her. which I thought was strange because we were literally on a double date. Its why outside friendships often fall to the wayside at first. ! And to that I say, why does any friendship form? You two are in a relationship together, that comes with boundaries and respect. WebYes, I do. You need to be looking forward, not backward.. WebShould I be worried if my boyfriend is friends with his ex? You two are in a relationship together, there are issues lurking beneath the surface best friend broke... Dating, for reasons that were unrelated to their own emotions point is that you should treasure him keep opinions. Very tired and just went up to bed with his ex a text from her and he turned over phone... Still in love with his ex? that he loves the fact he has two girls for. Speak privately, and if hes with you now, trust that theres a surprisingly large number of people think. Dating, or worried that my boyfriend is best friends with his ex might happen behind your back love with ex. That you should treasure him act of self-preservation was somehow an insult to?... Of any relationship, Emily, and the mass media supports this notion.. 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